(via quote-book)
I love you, B.
It’s Andrew’s and my two year anniversary today! I thought I would feel different, but I don’t. I count that as a good thing though because that means I feel lucky to have him everyday, not just on special occasions. It’s a landmark, especially these days don’t get me wrong, but I feel like if I was only excited to be with him on anniversaries, that would be a bad sign. We’ve come so far in two years. It seems like forever, yet it’s still not enough time together. I’m so excited for this summer. I’m happy I get to share my trip to Disney with him, even though my parents will be there. We have been through a lot together and I can’t wait for more.
I’ve been watching Sex and the City A LOT lately. I think I’m beginning to get addicted to it. I love the idea of have three successful, beautiful, different friends that get together every Saturday at a diner for breakfast and are completely fabulous. I wouldn’t want them to be so.. promiscuous though. I guess you can’t have everything. Even though I’m moving back home, where I grew up, I feel like I’m almost starting completely over on the friendship front. I don’t want to fall into the same high school crowd I was with, I know that. You know, the ones who try their hardest to be different, yet are completely predictable. It’s not even that fact that bothers me. It’s the fact that I used to be that, and I’m ready to move on with my life. I want a real job, I want to be involved in my church, I want a husband, I want a family, I want to be with the family I already have. Most of the people my age here, or anywhere for that matter, focus on where they are going to get their next bottle of tequila or beer. They wonder where the next party is instead of what their little sisters or brothers are doing. I don’t understand how what has become important in our culture, got that way. I guess that’s what it comes down to, priorities.
In other news, I have a blocked salivary gland. It’s painful, especially when I eat. It swells up to the size of a pecan.
A lot has happened in my life the past few weeks. One of my good friends, Brennan Hall passed away. I miss her very much and think of and talk to her daily. I try to keep her mom company every so often. She told me she was going to miss having girls around the house. She must have felt so empty, Sunday the 9th. It was her first mother’s day without B. I sent her some flowers, not that it will help. I just can’t believe she’s gone.. It amazes me how insensitive some people are about it. These two guys just keep disrespecting her and her memory. I can’t believe how people act these days. I kind of wish I lived in a less accepting time.. Is that wrong of me? I just can’t understand why and how people act the way they do. No respect for the dead, parents, elders in general, or even people in general. It’s not right.
My summer is almost over (for a month anyway). I go back to school Sunday, and I am excited to have a conflict-free summer semester. My classes are only in for a month and towards the end of June, I’ll be done! I am so ready. My parents are taking me and Andrew to Disney World and the Harry Potter theme park. They always spoil me, but I’m so excited! I’ve been whining about wanting to go for a long time and now I finally get to. Since I’m moving back home soon, I get to redecorate my room. It will be the same colors are my dorm was but I just have to tear down a lot of wallpaper and try to get organized. I’m going to paint the bottom half gray and the top white. It’s simple and won’t be too hard to cover when the time comes. Teal of course will be the accent color.
I think I’m beginning to realize something about myself. I think sometimes, that I’m too nice. I know, everyone in the world thinks they are too nice probably. It’s just a chain of events that have made this all come to light. Three situations in particular; First, My best friend from high school moves away. Not to another house, or even city in the state, but to a place about 13 hours away. I guess there’s nothing particular about that except SHE DIDN’T TELL ME. Long story short, I would hear all about the drama, but she would never call just to chat, or see how I was. She called me when she needed something from me. Recently, we began speaking again and low and behold she needs me to pick her up from the airport? and I agree? WHY? I have no clue. Second, a friend says she needs me, but when I ask if something is wrong or what is happening, she either gives me the whole story or acts as if I’ve never been there for her. I’ve been away from Dothan for two years, I text/call, hang out with her on the weekends some, what else can I do? She texts me or asks me to hang out because she recently lost a boyfriend and best friend. Before, she didn’t show much interest in hanging out with me. She had them. Third, I was supposed to start work with one of my friends. I found another job that would pay me more. She got so mad and wouldn’t speak to me for months. The second her boyfriend breaks up with her, she starts talking and actually wants me to come be with her so she’s not alone. She only talks when she needs something? and I went. I always do. I have this NEED to be there for people, and in turn I get used. I love all these girls to death, and it might not be the case, this is just how it feels to me.
All these recent happenings have made me see just how incredibly lucky I am to have Andrew. Our two year anniversary is in a week and I can’t believe it! It has gone by so fast. He is my light in the dark. He keeps me sane and happy when nothing else will. He loves me for who I am, not what I will do for him. He has been here for me in hard times, even when I wasn’t there for his. He makes me laugh constantly but knows when to comfort me. He isn’t perfect, and neither am I but I feel like together, we make a perfect couple. I love him so much.
one of our favorite songs. and it’s true :)
Andrew got the job he wanted, as a mechanic at Ft. Rucker. I’m so proud of him. He didn’t give up and he kept calling back until he got what he wanted, and deserved. I feel like we’re growing up too fast. I only have two more weeks with him completely free, and even then I have school. I know him getting a job was a great thing and I’m so happy for him. I’m just going to miss him.
I was at the mall the other day when I saw an old couple sitting together. The man looked over at the woman and said,
“Jane, we did it. We grew old together.”
The look in her eyes GMH.
i’d much prefer to read this to FML. Everyone should check it out.
Everyone needs them. Just because you party every night doesn’t mean you’re living life like it’s your last day. You’re wasting your time. I want to be surrounded by meaningful conversations and dreams.
14471.) I loved you since the moment I first saw you. And I vividly remember when. Sometimes I wonder if it was like that for you, like it was for me.
mary, jess, and I started doing yoga tonight. I hope it becomes a regular thing. I want to be in shape AND look awesome in a bathing suit. Now just to start eating better. I hope I can do this.
